He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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