I wish I could punch you in the face.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
