Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
