He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
