So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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