I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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