all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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