I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
