Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
