Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
