I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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