So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
