Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he shaved USA in his pubs
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm passing your future prison.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
