so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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