So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
