shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
