Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
