I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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