so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
