Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
