I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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