too bad you live with your parents still
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
