Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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