i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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