So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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