And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
