She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
