and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Is Oprah even human
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
