my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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