I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I am naked and annoyed.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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