Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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