God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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