apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
