then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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