Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
