I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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