So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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