the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I have post one night stand depression
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