i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
