I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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