Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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