She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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