guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize