i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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