batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
