I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
