Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Potential corruption. He's 19.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Get them while they're young!

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(214): View more from Texas

He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.

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(503): View more from Oregon

i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.

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(315): View more from New York

Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is

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