My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I need to stop coming to work sober
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
