well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
