I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Sober January is a disaster.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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