I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Oh god it's open bar.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
