Have you finally orgasmed yet?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
