I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
