I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
