if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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