Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
