so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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