I'm jealous of your bromance
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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