My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
