I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
