his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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