i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
