nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Too much gin, very little bucket
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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