I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm too high and old for this...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
